I pour two Tylenols into my hand, fill the glass with water, and wash them down. John is asleep and snoring like a horse as always. I guess he must be tired after his late night. I waited on him for hours. When he showed up, I pretended to be asleep, but my racing emotions wouldn’t let me rest. All the stress has given me a headache. Now I’m pacing around in the bathroom in the wee hours, plotting. I refill the glass with cold water. Glass in my hand, fierce vindictiveness courses through my being as I tiptoe back into the bedroom.
John is on his side of the bed, and that’s good because I don’t want to wet my side. The more I look at him, the angrier I get. So many disappointments, so many tears shed, so many sleepless nights I had to endure at his mercy. His verbal put-downs, betrayals, and sorry excuses. The prayers I had with Candy helped at the moment, but I still feel as if I hate and resent him for treating me so badly. I made up my mind last night I’m not dealing with this anymore.
John is either going to shape up or ship out! Slowly and meticulously, I pour the water over his face, startling him from his sleep.
John jumps from the bed sputtering and spurting. “What the heck!” Confusion darkens his face then realization sinks in and his brows furrow into a scowl. The change in his temperament is laughable and a deep laugh rumbles up from my gut. I laugh and laugh, and laugh until my sides ache. John’s scowl deepens. I’m not fazed by him. The lack of respect I have for my husband produces my uncaring attitude.
“Woman, what is wrong with you?” he asks, angrily wiping water from his face.
Hands on my hips, I retaliate. “What’s wrong with me? You want to know what’s wrong me? You! That’s what’s wrong with me. You have some nerve asking me that question. Where were you? I waited for you. I got dressed up for you to take me out. The problem with that is I couldn’t find you. You had me looking like a flipping fool. What’s your excuse now John, huh? That… That you were at the office or maybe you’re going to tell me you were with a client. Come on, enlighten me.”
“For your information… I was at the office. I had to catch up on some work I had missed the night before, as I told you. I don’t know why you’re acting crazy.” His calmness enrages me. Anger rises and falls inside of me like a heat wave, ready to consume all in its path.
I poke him in the forehead and he boxes my hand away.
“You’re a liar and a deceiver. You’re going to get what’s coming to you, John. You can count on it.”
“Whatever. I don’t expect you to believe me. You’re losing your mind.”
“You’re right. I lost my mind when I married you, lost more of it having to put up with your nonsense,” I say in a loud voice. “John, I called your office several times and you never answered. Why is that?” I move closer to him. “Before you start out with some sorry explanation, stop. I drove by your office and your car wasn’t there. John, be a man and tell the truth for once. Then at least I can respect you, instead of coming up with these weak explanations. What do you take me for?”
“I’m tired of your nagging, woman,” John says, eying the empty glass in my hand. “If you don’t have anything else to do other than to nag me then get out of my face, because I’m tired. I can’t believe you threw water on me in my sleep. That’s messed up. You crazy and you need to seek professional help.”
John snatches the wet cover off the bed and gets back in it. He rolls over onto his side and turns his back to me. His action is answer enough for me. I have come to a dead end. It’s decision-making time. Earlier tonight I prayed and cried, prayed and cried and the answer remained the same. Candy stopped by and the prayer she led me in truly touched my soul. She talked with me for a while before leaving. She would have stayed longer, but I told her I needed some time alone. I’ve not been a big believer in prayer but for some reason, pray is exactly what I did. I poured out my heart to the God Candy told me about, and I told Him my hurt and asked for strength.
I knew I had come to a time of decision. Choose life or death. John is killing me emotionally. We are no good for each other, and I want to live. So I can’t remain here.
“You know I used to think there was something wrong with me, that I lacked in something, but I’ve come to realize it’s not me,” I say, walking around to his side of the bed and standing in front of him. “It’s you. You’re the one who lacks in something. I remember a time when I was deeply in love with you, John, and I would’ve moved mountains to make you happy. Now… now I feel like I’m going through the motions just holding onto something that’s no longer there. I’m sick of all the arguments, all the fighting, all of your lies. I just can’t take it anymore.”
A long pause ensues. John doesn’t move. He doesn’t speak. He just lies there. I want to wrap my hands around his neck and squeeze. It would be worth it just to hear him beg for his life.
“Is that it? Because I’m going back to sleep.”
Help me, Jesus! “You keep saying that there isn’t another woman in your life, but if it’s not another woman, John, then it must be another man. Which is it?”
I wait for some kind of reaction out of him, because I’m not done. I need an answer and he is going to give me one willingly or unwillingly. John leaps from the bed and gets in my face before I know what is happening.
“You know the reason why you’re so insecure, Lisa? Don’t answer that.” He pushes me up against the wall so hard the bones in my back feel crushed. He adds, “I’ll answer for you. You’re not good at taking care of home. If you were then you wouldn’t have to worry about someone else doing what you should be doing.”
“I can’t believe this is coming from you, you disrespectful, no good lowdown dirty dog,” I say in a low, calm voice.
With all the force I possess, I push myself from the wall to slap John’s face. The contact of my hand to his face stings, and the resounding noise rings in my ears.
John chuckles and it sends uneasy shivers down my spine. In one quick movement, he pins me against the wall again, his face mere inches away from mine. John rests his hands on each side of my face.
“That, I am, but I’m not gay. You think you’re so smart don’t you?” he asks condescendingly. “Tell me something Lisa, if you’re so smart, what am I going to do next?”
My chin juts out and my tone is defiant. “Go ahead, John, hit me. You’ve done it before. How soon we forget what happened the last time you laid hands on me. Believe me when I say it, this time I won’t be sympathetic. If you hit me again, you will pay.”
We stare each other down for a beat before I speak. “If it’s not another man then who is she, John?”
He laughs nervously and steps away from me. He points knowingly and says, “I see what you’re trying to do. I’m not falling for it and you know the last time was an accident. I wasn’t going to hit you, only wanted to scare you. I already paid the price for my mistake. I’m not a punk, and you know it. I don’t know why you are trying to anger me, Lisa. I’m going to suggest you stop right now.”
“Then answer the question: If it’s not a man, who is she?”
“You better stop fooling around and quit asking me all this nonsense. There is no other woman or man. I was at work. I didn’t know you were calling me because our phone lines were down.”
“It’s funny how things around your office conveniently break when you’re missing in action. Why are you lying? Where was your car? Why didn’t you answer your cell phone? …Why didn’t you call me to let me know you were going to be late? John, you can’t get yourself out of this one.”
“You’re paranoid. Maybe you should call the office if you don’t believe me.”
“Get real. What do I look like calling your office to ask them about your whereabouts? I’m asking you and that still doesn’t explain what happened to your car.”
“In the secured parking garage. Lisa you know how I get sometimes when I’m working on something important. I lost track of time baby, I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you.”
John starts in on his smooth talk, but I’m not trying to hear it this time.
“The heck you will.”
John’s brow furrows. “What do you mean?”
“It means… that… you can’t… charm me… anymore. There is no… making it up to me,” I say, dragging my sentence out to get my point across.
“Lisa, I know you’re upset. Honey, please let’s not make any hasty decisions.”
“This is not hasty. I had all of tonight and a few lonely nights before this to think about it. John I want you to leave. I don’t trust you, and I want you to pack your things and get out.” The words come out calmer than I’m feeling.
“Now you’ve definitely lost it, woman. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You can leave of your own free will or I can have the police help you. The choice is yours.”
“You conniving little bi—.”
“Oh so now you want to call me out my name,” I interrupt his outburst. “Pack your things, John, pack them and vacate the premises. Don’t make me call the police.” I walk across the room before I break down and change my mind.
“Get back here! I’m not through talking to you.” John hits the bedroom wall. “Come here!”
I spin around, thinking he is coming after me. He hasn’t moved. John stares daggers at me as he nurses his hand. It will serve him right if he broke it.
“I’m done talking to you.” I toss the words over my shoulder and step into the bathroom. I splash water on my face. Outside, I hear John moving around. He is ripping drawers open and banging them shut. I hear the clank of perfume bottles on the dresser and hope he doesn’t knock my favourite fragrance to the floor.
John does not take long to pack. I’m scared of being by myself. I made the decision to stop being his doormat and that meant asking him to leave. I don’t see any other way. But I wish we could just have everything turn out all right.
“I hope you can live with your decision. If I leave here today I won’t be coming back,” he threatens, through the door. He is trying to scare me into changing my mind, the old mind trick.
I take a deep breath, then step back into the bedroom and watch him pull on khakis and shoes. Eying the single overnight bag at his side, I dig into the wound. “Is that all the clothes you’re carrying? You’re going to need more than that.”
“I’ll get the rest of my things tomorrow. Then again, it might be sometime later in the week if that’s ok with you,” he says and pauses for a beat. “Are you sure you want me to leave?”
I huff. “John, I have never been as sure of anything as I am sure of this. I need some time and space to figure some things out.”
“Then I guess you’ll be getting all the time in the world. I didn’t do anything wrong, Lisa. You’re making a big mistake.”
I ponder what he said. “Am I? John, you have forgotten our wedding vows. You don’t appreciate me, and you don’t respect me. I’ve talked to you about this time and time again and you haven’t done a thing to show me. Frankly, I’m sick of it! I’m tired of feeling like a warm body for you to come home to at night. I feel like I’m alone in this marriage, and since I’m feeling that way then I might as well be alone.”
“What are you talking about?” he asks as if he has no idea what I’ve been saying or why I’m upset. “I’m always here for you, Lisa. Don’t throw away our marriage. I want to secure a better future for us and you want to leave me, just because I stay late at the office a few times.”
“That’s not the reason and you know it, John,” I say in a tone that lets him know I’m not buying his sudden act.
“You’re never here and when you are, it’s as if you’re off somewhere else. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. We need a break. I need a break!”
“You know what? Do whatever you want!” he says in exasperation. “I’m getting off this roller coaster ride. Call me when you get some sense into that head of yours.”
The slamming of the garage door seems so final against the silence of the night. I stare down at the departing car from my bedroom window. John speeds out of our darkened driveway and drives away without looking back. The tears I’ve held back roll down my cheeks and the more I wipe them away the more they pour out, each drop like a cleansing of my soul. We keep doing the same things, we women, living for men who don’t live for us.
I sit on the floor, the tears finally dry and my chest feeling heavy. Two hours go by and I’m in the same position replaying the scene between John and me in my head. I realize he isn’t coming back and that the pain is greater than I imagine. I want to call him and tell him to come back but I stifle the urge. I manage to scramble to my feet, feeling as if all of my energy left with the tears that flowed from my eyes. I slowly prowl the house, worrying about John’s whereabouts and with whom. I sent him away, but I still want to know where he is. I decide on a warm bath to relax and clear my mind. Lavender always does the trick, so I pour a half-cup in the bath, switch on some easy listening music, discard my clothes and get in the tub. The water is just right. After my bath, I curl up on the love seat with a book. I read the first paragraph then read it again. The words don’t make sense to me. Somehow the words on the page do not register in my mind. I finally give up and lay the book to the side.
I walk to John’s closet. The space is immaculate, a place for everything and everything in its place. I didn’t realize it before, but that’s how he feels about me too. I have a place and that was to be his wife and his footstool, nothing more.
As long as I let him run me and say nothing about the way I’m treated I’m perfect.
Impulsively I pack up his clothes and drag them out to the garage next to the trash cans. I leave them there and tomorrow when I wake up, they are going out with the trash.
I laugh, satisfied with my handiwork because I know John will be ticked off when he realizes his collection of Brooks Brothers, Donna Karan, Kenneth Cole, and many other designer labels he wears are sitting in trash bags in our garage, wrinkled and funky.
Synopsis
Every relationship goes through a rough spot, but for one group of friends, drama unfolds and lives are shaken. Lies have torn apart best friends Mona and Lisa and they now go their separate ways in search of love and happiness.
Candy, the glue who once held together the trio, seems to have the happily ever after with a sexy husband and a brand new baby, but when parenthood puts stress on their marriage, the two must find a way to connect again.
These love lives take a winding, twisting road full of ups and downs, and they all want the same thing: the happily ever after.
-But will they get it? After all, does everyone get a second chance at love? 
Candy
“God have mercy on me in your loving kindness,” I grit through clench teeth. Perspiration soaks my gown. Ugly gown at that
The most humiliating thing is the bed that has me spreading my legs for Dr. Bennett to examine my insides. I never liked going to the gynecologist and I sure as heck don’t like another man down there, doctor or not. Men have no idea how lucky they are. We have to go through periods, giving birth, raising them and their children. Well, Eve you sure messed it up for the rest of us.
“Push,” Dr. Bennett urges. You push I think grudgingly.
“I’m pushing, what do you think I’m doing?” I grunt and press down as Dr. Bennett instructs.
Dr. Bennett glances over to Nick for support. Nick throws him an, I’m not getting my head chewed off, look. Dr. Bennett smirks and coaxes me gently. He gives me praise when I do exactly as he commands.
Dr. Bennett urges, “Give me one more hard push.” Fed up with the grunting and pushing I lash out in a voice that is incoherent even to me.
“Get it out of me! Get it out of me!” I yell like an insane woman. The faces of the people I love is that of appall. I should be concerned, but I’m not. This child is trying to kill.
My outburst doesn’t affect Dr. Bennett and he continues. “I can see the crown of the baby’s head. Give me one more big push and it will be over soon.”
“It better be today,” I moan.
“Well for my sake I hope it is,” Dr. Bennett teases. His calmness infuriates me. “Now be a good girl and help me get this baby out and into your arms.”
I fuss some more, but do as he says. I push and push harder. The last push sends a sharp pain through my body. The baby arrives quickly. Therin Josephine Lancaster comes into the world screaming and acting dramatically. Her wrinkled body gives her the appearance of an old person and she is red from screaming so hard. She already has my personality, poor Nick. The nurses clean her up and hands her to me. I check to make sure she has all her fingers and toes. I thank God that nothing is missing.
“Oh my God, she is beautiful and I give her back to you Lord,” I say and then kiss her forehead. “We’ve been waiting for you.” Dr. Bennett gives me the ok to feed her. I push aside the padding in my nursing bra and allow her access to her food.
The pain is only for a moment. Joy fills my heart. The feeling is beyond describing. I look up to share my joy with my husband and Lisa, but her face registers jealousy instead of happiness. It bothers me and I figure this would happen. We talked about this before I asked her to be Therin’s Godmother. She was honest when she admitted that she felt a tad bit jealous. Her explanation made me felt even worse than she did. Lisa thinks that she is a woman cursed by God to barren, because of what her mother did years ago. Lisa still carries around the stigma that God did not forgive her, because of the sins of her parents. I’ve had the Pastor speak into her life and explain salvation and the redeeming blood of Christ, but she still won’t grab a hold of the freedom that she has been given.
Nick sinks down beside me and pulls the baby blanket down from her face to get a better look. Regardless of how Lisa is feeling, I am not going to let her spoil this moment for us. I’ve waited too long for this little bundle of joy.
Nick’s eyes twinkle. “I must be the luckiest man in the world,” he sighs.
I glance up at him with a smile on my lips. “Why is that?”
The love I see in Nick’s eyes will always stay with me. The love of a father is a little girl’s greatest gift. He is the first man that will ever show her love. He will be the first to bring her gifts because of his love for not because of ulterior motives. I didn’t have the gift of love from my father, but I have no doubt that Nick will be that gift to our child. I never dream God would bless me this much. He has exceeded all of my expectations.
“I have the two most beautiful women all to myself.” Nick kisses my dry lips.
Sensing Lisa’s unease. I quickly pull away and glance her way. No one else notices the tears that roll down her cheeks.
“Let the Godmother hold her Goddaughter honey. This is why I didn’t want a girl, look she’s already stealing you from me,” I say, poking fun. Lisa quickly wipes the tears away and plants a smile on her lips.
“Candy, she is beautiful,” Lisa, say as she sits with Therin in the rocking chair next to my bed. Lisa plays with Therin tiny fingers and toes then she smell her... “She smells good too. I won’t even tell you what I thought she would smell like.”
That got a laugh out of both Nick and I. The laughter settles and the absence of my mother tugs at my heart. This is her first and possible her only grandchild and she missed the moment.
“No seriously, I thought she would smell like your -”
“Nope stop! I don’t want to know. You are crazy,” I laugh. My cell begins to vibrate. Mona’s number flash across the screen. Out of habit when Mona calls I always look at Lisa if I’m with her. Conceding that the phone isn’t going to answer itself and that Mona will only hang up and call back. I answer it just as the ringtone chorus is getting good. “Hey, what are you doing?”
“I’m checking up on you. Seeing if you able to squeeze that baby out. I don’t know how women do it.” Mona laughs throatily. I really miss that laugh. “Sorry I couldn’t be there.” Her voice holds regret, pain, and lost.
That day at the hospital was the last time we brought the baby up that she had lost. I imagine if she wanted to speak of it, then she will when the time is right.
“Boy or girl?” she asks digging right in and pulling me back into the present.
“Therin is a beautiful little hazel eye baby girl,” I coy. Once again, I look over at Lisa holding Therin. Lisa is a natural. One day she is going to make some child very happy.
“That’s pretty… Therin… I bet Nick is beside himself.” Mona gushes. There is more sadness in her voice, but I don’t question it.
“When are you coming back this way?” I ask. Letting her know I miss her and reminding her that visitations were in order.
“I’ll visit soon.”
“Define soon.”
“Soon… like when I can get away from the job.” This is Mona’s classic excuse. She might as well just patent it for use on hallmark cards.
“Mona, you’re a Director now. So save that for someone who don’t know any better.”
“Being a Director makes it more difficult. It’s not a magic title that allows me to slack off on my responsibilities.”
“I know,” I whine. “It’s just that I miss you. In three months it will be a year since you left for Japan and I would have jumped on a plane to come and see you, but Dr. Bennett had strict orders about me flying.”
“Miss you too chicklet. Seriously, I’m not sure when I get over there. There is too much unfinished business there. Here I can be someone else with a history that is not questioned.”
We’re not getting anywhere so I switch subjects and ask, “Have you heard from your mom?”
Mona ignores the question and dives into a conversation about her new boss Ross somebody. For some reason I let her rant on about it, but I don’t take any real interest in what is being said.
“Why do you think you dislike him so much?” I ask her absentmindedly.
“Reminds me too much of John.”
“Why am I not surprise,” I say and glance at Lisa. Therin is keeping her occupied, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t listening. Time heals all wounds people say, but for these two women time will not soothe the pain. Low enough for Mona to hear, I say, “You can’t let that one circumstance turn you into a man hater. He does not deserve the credit to ruin your outlook on men. Don’t give him that.”
“Since I found out who John really was I haven’t been able to look at men the same, but I don’t hate men. I’m disappointed in myself for allowing them to trample on me,” Mona argues. “Hell will freeze over again before I let another man hurt me, before they hurt me. I will make sure I hurt them.” I know her so well. The tears aren’t far. This is supposed to be a happy occasion, but suddenly I’m sad. The mask we women wear to cover up self-hatred and pain. Is a seven-letter word Revenge an ugly word. Revenge can eat you up alive like the decaying flesh of the dead. You think you’re winning but you really losing, because you’re exerting energy in a direction that will lead you nowhere but down.
“Well I pity you, Mona.”
“Don’t pity me. I will do just fine.” Nick announces to the room that he is going to grab a snack from the vending machine so I miss some of what Mona is saying.
Completely disregarding everything she said. I ask again, “Have you talked to your mom?”
Relief coats Mona’s voice she replies, “No she hasn’t tried to call me. Monty said she called to ask about my whereabouts and what I was doing.”
“Mona, it looks like she is trying to reach out to you. Why didn’t you call her back?” I ask, moving into uncharted territory.
“Send me pictures of the baby.” Mona voice cracks. She thinks I don’t hear it, but I do. Her effort to hide it makes it cracks even more. “Tell Nick I send my love and get some rest. Love you, bye.” The phone goes dead. I look at the phone mouth wide open in amazement and frustration.
This is what you've all been waiting for. The sequel to ''Love is all we're after" is here. Get your copy now! If you loved "Love is all we're after" then "Second Chance At Love" will not disappoint.